Where we are today and how we got here.
Things are going pretty good on the homestead and will get even better. As a matter of fact, it is because things are going well that I took a look at the finances and decided, well if I get a part time job off the homestead, I can finish building the raised beds quicker and expand the coop and flock. That desire is what started the avalanche of events that follow. Before you can fully understand, I need to share some history and my philosophy on life with you all.
When I was 19, I was young, dumb and in love or at least I thought so. That led me to get married, which is a blog for another time... The marriage was good at first but then it became rocky after the birth of my daughter. A year or so later and after several separations, it was obvious that there was no hope of the marriage surviving. Here begins the major errors in judgement, on my part. I did not contest her moving with my daughter out of state, back home to her parents. Almost 7 months after she left, I got a call from mutual friends asking how I felt. After they realized that I had no clue what they were talking about, they told me I had a newborn son. I got hold of my ex and she confirmed it. From the get go, I had and continue to have serious doubts about the paternity and I have my reasons for that. Son, if you are reading this, know that no matter what, I love you and maybe that is all that matters. I never requested a paternity test as my ex would definitely use this against me with my children.
Child support and the turbulent relationship. I do not want anyone to think that I endorse shirking your parental responsibility. If you helped bring a life into this world, then you need to man up and help provide for that child or children.
I do want you to understand, that when I say my children, that my oldest daughter is 24 and my son is 21 and still getting child support.
My first issue with the way child support is decided is that it is based on the man's salary, regardless of what the income of the custodial parent (she is a Vice Principal in her local school district from what I have learned). Child support is a twisted issue to follow. In my case, I was making good money in NJ at the time and NJ Law allows for up to 52% of the salary to be garnished for child support. If she had to deal with the same cost of living I might not be so disgruntled over the situation. The reality is that she didn't have to deal with the same costs. She moved back to Iowa where she purchased a 3 or 4 bedroom house on an acre of property and her mortgage was under $400/month.
In 2005, I relocated to Arizona which has less generous standards. The State of Iowa requested that the NJ standard be applied and assumed the judgement. The State of New Jersey agreed to step out of the picture as they no longer had me as a resident and no direct control over me. The State of Iowa then directly petitioned my employer to enforce the Order of Child Support without involving the State of Arizona. I petitioned Arizona to take over control of the case but they declined to get involved. Since 2012, I have requested 2 hearings from the State of Iowa for adjustment and have been declined both times. The cost of living and the wages in Arizona are much less than those in NJ.
Yesterday, I finally had a Child Support hearing from the State of Arizona, requested by Iowa. The main things raised during this was why the State of Iowa is still seeking the Order of Child Support and why Arizona hadn't heard my request in 2006-2007 when I filed here? According to Iowa Child Support Guidelines, an Order of Child Support remains in effect until the "child" turns 26 or obtains a college degree. Both had a college fund established before they were 3 years old. The State of Arizona Guideline states 18 years old and it terminates. Arizona and Iowa are going to have "private" conversations on the resolution and will advise me of the outcome. I asked these questions point blank- When does the system become fair to the non custodial parent that pays child support and why should a state that I have never been a resident of have control over my life. That is like me getting stopped and ticketed by local police for making a right hand turn on a red light, which is legal here but is illegal in another state.
The shock to me came when I learned that since I first began paying child support I have paid $102,145.51. That money sure would come in handy to expand and build on my current success...
Ladies, I ask that when seeking child support please be fair and don't use the children as a weapon. Guys, do your fair share to support your child(ren)!!
I do want you to understand, that when I say my children, that my oldest daughter is 24 and my son is 21 and still getting child support.
My first issue with the way child support is decided is that it is based on the man's salary, regardless of what the income of the custodial parent (she is a Vice Principal in her local school district from what I have learned). Child support is a twisted issue to follow. In my case, I was making good money in NJ at the time and NJ Law allows for up to 52% of the salary to be garnished for child support. If she had to deal with the same cost of living I might not be so disgruntled over the situation. The reality is that she didn't have to deal with the same costs. She moved back to Iowa where she purchased a 3 or 4 bedroom house on an acre of property and her mortgage was under $400/month.
In 2005, I relocated to Arizona which has less generous standards. The State of Iowa requested that the NJ standard be applied and assumed the judgement. The State of New Jersey agreed to step out of the picture as they no longer had me as a resident and no direct control over me. The State of Iowa then directly petitioned my employer to enforce the Order of Child Support without involving the State of Arizona. I petitioned Arizona to take over control of the case but they declined to get involved. Since 2012, I have requested 2 hearings from the State of Iowa for adjustment and have been declined both times. The cost of living and the wages in Arizona are much less than those in NJ.
Yesterday, I finally had a Child Support hearing from the State of Arizona, requested by Iowa. The main things raised during this was why the State of Iowa is still seeking the Order of Child Support and why Arizona hadn't heard my request in 2006-2007 when I filed here? According to Iowa Child Support Guidelines, an Order of Child Support remains in effect until the "child" turns 26 or obtains a college degree. Both had a college fund established before they were 3 years old. The State of Arizona Guideline states 18 years old and it terminates. Arizona and Iowa are going to have "private" conversations on the resolution and will advise me of the outcome. I asked these questions point blank- When does the system become fair to the non custodial parent that pays child support and why should a state that I have never been a resident of have control over my life. That is like me getting stopped and ticketed by local police for making a right hand turn on a red light, which is legal here but is illegal in another state.
The shock to me came when I learned that since I first began paying child support I have paid $102,145.51. That money sure would come in handy to expand and build on my current success...
Ladies, I ask that when seeking child support please be fair and don't use the children as a weapon. Guys, do your fair share to support your child(ren)!!
Dept. of Homeland Security enters the picture. I know what you are thinking and I am not now nor have I ever been affiliated with a foreign terrorist group nor have I renounced my citizenship, least that I know of. Make no mistake, I love my country but hate the Government and what is has become! So, I get 3 emails after getting out of the child support hearing from DHS, my Social Security Number can't be verified by my new employer and I have 8 days to contest DHS's Notice of Non Conformation. Because I have an older Social Security Number which contains 5 repeating numbers, my Social couldn't be verified by DHS as being valid and my social security number was "locked", even though I have my SS Card and photo ID. So, as of today, I now have that resolved and according to Scott at DHS, I do not have to worry about drones or airstrikes now.
Everything that we have done and experienced in the past has made us who we are and gotten us where we are today. All of this has occurred because, instead of building things up piecemeal as I have been with profits coming from the homestead, I wanted to earn extra income to expand things faster by getting a part time (20 hours a week) $8.25/hr job and the employer uses E Verify which is controlled by DHS... So, if Iowa gets their way, I will pay even more in Child Support for my 2 adult children and my landlady wants more rent because I am thriving... I may just have taken a huge step backward instead of forward depending on the outcomes. I will keep you all updated when I hear from the State again and what happens with negotiations with the landlady.
They say that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, well after this I feel that I should be able to bench press a Buick.
Everything that we have done and experienced in the past has made us who we are and gotten us where we are today. All of this has occurred because, instead of building things up piecemeal as I have been with profits coming from the homestead, I wanted to earn extra income to expand things faster by getting a part time (20 hours a week) $8.25/hr job and the employer uses E Verify which is controlled by DHS... So, if Iowa gets their way, I will pay even more in Child Support for my 2 adult children and my landlady wants more rent because I am thriving... I may just have taken a huge step backward instead of forward depending on the outcomes. I will keep you all updated when I hear from the State again and what happens with negotiations with the landlady.
They say that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, well after this I feel that I should be able to bench press a Buick.
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